So I think I made up the idea of “Mommy Ear Muffs” but I am thrilled to have it catch on. Here are examples of times when you can use the Mommy Ear Muffs for yourself:
- anytime someone offers unsolicited advice
- every time someone gives you unsolicited advice
- whenever you feel like it gosh darn it!
Let me tell you a little story. I have a friend who almost my exact opposite. She puts her baby girl in her ergo carrier while I choose to whip out the stroller for our Target dates. She did co-sleeping while I chose to have Hasty sleep in her crib starting at 4 weeks old (pick your jaw up off the floor people… we all do it differently) she is a CHAMP at breast feeding while Hasty and I stopped earlier than she did. I did my own version of “Sleep Traning” for Hastings, while she let her little one decide when to nap and her baby girl did just that! She basically guided her mom on when she was ready to nap in her crib even!
Now, all you mommies with those “judgey” eyes… you might as well stop reading now… because this is all about NOT JUDGING. Ladies, we spend so much time trying to figure things out and so often that turns into judging other moms, talking about their efforts and what we do and don’t agree with, or my personal favorite posting those blog posts (Ha! Like this one!) passive aggressively on our Facebook pages and hoping “THAT mom” sees it and reads it and she will see the error of her ways… but lets just GET REAL. My baby and my friends baby are BOTH thriving. They are BOTH sleeping on their own “schedules” they both eat, they both are strong and beautiful and when I need something, I KNOW I can call her and even though she knows it’s not the way she would do it, she will still be a listening ear on the hard days or in the rough times. THAT is what it’s about ladies. Learning to love each other and our own unique stories. As long as a child is loved and not in danger, then realistically, we just need to smile and nod. NOT offer advice unless you are asked. (PS when our kids arrive in first grade, are we going to be looking around thinking “Oh yes, Hasty was crawling and eating solids long before that child over there”.. that’s laughable to me!)
I can’t tell you how many times I post a quick little note about Hasty and people reach out with concerns for her. So, because I started to be bothered by this, I decided NOT to offer advice to my mom friends. AT ALL. Unless they ask a specific question, then I am here all ears ready to listen and NOT to offer my advice or thoughts on what you should do.
Let’s all do that. Let’s all love on other moms. Let’s offer to watch each others babies for a few hours. Let’s be a listening ear instead of trying to be a guiding mouth all the time. Let’s put on the Mommy Ear Muffs when we hear someone bashing how another mom runs her household. Most of all, lets love the differences in our stories and stop fighting over whether or not we vaccinate our kiddos. (oh! Hit a nerve there didn’t I?!)
Anyway, just so you know, I have a clingy baby… she is the most smiley happy and beautiful child I have ever seen, but dang does she cry if I pass her off to someone else and I’m still right there…. trust me, we are working on it. Now for me to put on the mommy ear muffs! Hope you will do the same and instead of offering advice, just offer up a listening ear! If you want to know more about my baby wearing friend you can find her at Winging It Mum!
“Using the Mommy Ear Muffs” // The Not So Mommy Blogs // Tonie Christine Photography //