Yes, you read it right. I gave away my purity ring. Now, let’s start from the beginning. Back in the day, when I was in 6th grade, this ring was called a “promise ring”. It was given to me by my dad and mom (who are the best of the best) and by definition, this ring represented a promise to myself, my parents, my future husband and most importantly to God, that I would save myself for marriage and stay physically pure from sex until my wedding. Well in sixth grade that sounded like a GREAT trade off in order to receive this gorgeous gold ring with a ruby and a diamond in it that my mom and dad had made in Ireland for me!! I mean come on… nobody in 6th grade has their VERY OWN DIAMOND (that you may have needed a magnifying glass to see, but hey, I was NOT complaining!) Over the years this ring became so much more to me than “just a diamond”. I actually decided I no longer wanted to call this ring my “promise ring”. The reason for this was because this was the name that had been coined by the “industry” as a ring a boy gave to a girl to tell her he “promises to marry her..or be with her…or love her…” (I’m not actually sure WHAT these rings actually mean to be honest..) So I started referring to my ring as my PURITY ring; even to complete strangers at the airport when I worked there! Strangers’ reactions to it were always the best….mainly since I was super open about what it meant. Their second question was always “how old are you?” Ha!
Of course there were tons of skeptics. Friends in high school assumed I would get to college and “loose my ring”. Then college friends just assumed I still wore it even though I had a boyfriend..and that it did not mean anything anymore. But let me tell you.. IT DID! I became more and more open and honest about exactly WHAT that ring was doing on my finger. I also figured it scared off creepy the kind of men I may not want to date. Trust me. I had a plan for this ring and had not waited all this time to just stop wearing it or suddenly decide to give myself to a guy… I was waiting for THE ONE. And so I did. When my husband proposed he got to hold onto my purity ring and replace it with my engagement ring.
My plan was executed perfectly on my wedding day. In the morning, I had my purity ring on as I got ready, as I saw E for the first time in my white wedding gown and as I walked down the aisle hand in hand with my dad. When we got to the top of the aisle, my dad slowly slipped off the purity ring that he had placed on that very hand and handed it to E. (I’m totally tearing up writing this…) My dad is a good man and had such good intentions for me at that young age..and although I am sure my parents worried about me, that day they were both beaming with pride that I had indeed waited for E. I can’t tell you enough that ITS WORTH THE WAIT!!! I’ll leave it at that 🙂 I thank the Lord everyday for his protection, provision and for helping me see the light at the end of the tunnel that was E! At the top you saw my rings side by side. So much meaning in both of them!
I dedicate this post to Sam and Em, and to any other young woman out there who is wondering how she will stay pure until her wedding day. Stay strong. You are doing the right thing and I am SO SO proud of you. I would love to hear your story!
Luke 1:47 “Nothing is impossible with God”
Photography by: Pawel Bebenca Photography in Ireland
Such a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it! ♥
Beautiful. Simply beautiful!!
What can I say. So proud of you Tonie.
I got married this past August. I waited, too. IT WAS WORTH IT.
Beautiful.
<3
Proud of you T! I remember asking you about the ring in college and you were so proud to tell me all about it. Women like you are a rare breed for sure and I’m so happy to have met you and learned even just a tiny bit of your passion and dedication. Keep it up! Xo oh and I’ve always been curious, do you now wear a wedding band too or does the engagement ring serve both purposes? It’s gorgeous either way! Just something I wondered after seeing pics. 🙂
I can’t wait to read this with my daughter. <3
So beautiful and refreshing to hear other young girls have a similar story to mine. People thinks its impossible to wait, but through the grace of God, willpower, and much prayer and faithfulness, He DOES help us conquer. I wore my purity ring from age 16 until I married last year at age 21. I put the ring back in the little box my wedding rings were in and wore it up until my wedding. 🙂 Even in the face of temptation, I would look at that ring and remember God’s command to us. And especially how much it meant to wear that WHITE dress of purity. Thank you for sharing – God is glorified! 🙂
I’m totally going to do this for my daughter <3 thank you for sharing Tonie. It's so refreshing to see a friend that is so strong and open about her faith 🙂
Reading your post made me proud and overwhelmed! We were so blessed to have parents who loved and gently instilled these kinds of values into us. Thank you for sharing OUR story!
So sweet T! Thanks for sharing… And I agree it’s definitely worth the wait!
What a beautiful story! I want his for Loralei, I unfortunately did not do this but I want a better life for her! Thank you for the inspiration! You are truly one of the best people I know!!
This is amazing. While I never had a physical ring from my father, I swear we could not have afforded one while I was growing up, I feel like on some level, both of my parents and I had the same kind of “hand off.” Our eye contact was powerful enough, I felt this same kind of symbolic gesture at my wedding. What a beautiful story! Congratulations! ♥
Love this! I had my 9 year old read it and have prayed she will make the same promise to herself and god! I wish I had the chance to, but it was taken away.
I have spent a great deal of time these past few days contemplating the path that Tonie took in the areas described in her post, and the courage she had to share it with others. In general, the path of purity, as she calls it, has most likely always been a path less traveled, and most agree that in the last generation or so it is quite rare. As you can imagine, I am proud of her. It is not easy to have and maintain such a standard. As I reflected on what she accomplished, what came to mind was when she and I ran the Seattle Marathon, a 26.2 mile run. Of course completing a marathon is no small task, but the magnitude of its accomplishment is not measured by mere completion, it is the challenges that are overcome on the course that reveal the depth of character, strength, and resolve it takes to make it to the end. As I was running with Tonie she became exhausted to the point she could barely walk, and she openly questioned whether she could complete the race. Her exhaustion and doubt occurred not near the end of the race, but shortly after reaching the half-way mark. We stopped and walked slowly. I told her that she could do it if she just kept on moving towards the finish line. She kept on going and we agreed to jog slowly for short periods, mostly by identifying an object or person to reach before we would walk again. Mile after mile and hill after hill were put behind us. It seemed as if she got stronger, not weaker, as we neared the end of the race. I will never forget how I felt when the banner over the finish line appeared in the distance. I felt a euphoric sense of immense pride that she had reached her goal and that we were able to cross the finish line together. On the day of her wedding, I walked her down a grassy path towards another finish line, but this time it was not the end of a mere race, it was the consummation of a woman’s goal to have a unique and special bond with the man of her dreams. Thank you Tonie for being an inspiration and an example to us all. Papa
[…] dad bought me my FIRST piece of gold jewelry that was a purity ring… (you can read about that right here… but that’s a different […]
This is amazing! Thank you for posting this!